For the lonely:

"I'm so good in sex because I practice a lot on my own"

"It's so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom"

"Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk"

"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all"

"I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women"

Software is like Sex. Its better when it is free

"Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love." Woody Allen